The Last Night

Just over a year ago, I wrote a blog called "Today Is The Last Day"

And the message I was trying to send still rings true.  But today, as I re-read that blog ... it's hitting a little deeper tonight on the emotion scale.

Today truly is the last day for my way of living.

So long I have been a prisoner to myself.  My bad habits... my negative thoughts... my sedentary routine I have created for myself ...

I have made leaps and bounds when it comes to my way of thinking.  Now it is time to take those steps in my physical health.

I am not happy with how I've treated my body physically.  And while I know I have tried to take it back, it just never fully stuck.  Now a tool is being given to me (and for those who think Gastric Bypass is the easy way out, do yourself a favor and research a little bit.  It's far from the easy way out).  With this tool I am going to apply all I know I should (and want) to be doing!

I miss Paige and her Zumba classes!
I miss my evening walks!
I miss Sweatin' To The Oldies with Richard!

I want to play with my kids, and not be winded 5 minutes in.
I want to eat balanced, healthy meals ... and not feel hungry an hour later.
I want to care about my appearance again, and take care of myself.

Today really *IS* the last day I will be like this.
Tomorrow I begin my two week diet before surgery.  This means in 15 days, I'll be sitting here packing my hospital bag (and probably writing a sappy blog entry, ha ha).

I look forward to sharing this journey with you all ... and I hope to help give hope to someone who thinks they've tried everything and to give up.  Or if they feel WLS is them giving up.  It is not!  It is YOU saying "I give a damn about my health and future - and I want to be here for a LONG TIME!"

Tonight is the last night ... this chapter is finally coming to an end.
I am ready to begin writing my next great adventure.

source

Thanks for reading!

Nichole

~Be The Thermostat - Not The Thermometer~

Finding your passion

No - not this kind of Passions!

 

It's important to be passionate about something.

 

Whether it's a cause ... a hobby ... or a goal.

 

Some people are passionate about their family.  Their spouse.  Their job.

 

I attended my first Relay For Life committee meeting last night, as co-event chair.  It was exciting to be in a room with people who are just as passionate about the cause as I am.  There was hugs, and laughter.  We're more than just volunteers for this great cause.  We're even more than friends.  We're a Relay Family.

I wanted to share with my readers my passion.
My passion for a great cause, which is Relay For Life.  My passion for my kids.  My education.  And my fitness.  As cheesy as it sounds, I wanted to share the passion I have for my husband.

I know - "gag me".  Ha, ha, ha!

 

I think it's important to have a passion for something.  For me, it personally helps motivate and drive me.  I'm an emotional person (deep down), which can sometimes derail me on my path towards the ultimate goal.  People's words and actions cut me deeper than they know.  It is my passion that saves me, and puts me back on track.  Which is why I think I have such a passion for my kids and husband.  They help me pick up the pieces and get back on track.  This includes Relay and my Education.

 

My passion, from what I've been told, is infectious.  Like my smile (yes, I take pride in my "eye disappearing" smile), most people get inspired hearing me talk about my ambitious goals.

 

For example, this years Relay, I have my initial personal goal set at $750 - but I'm striving to be a Grand Club member this year ($1000).

As a Co-Event Chair for my relay, I also have big goals for my event.  I want to bring in as many vendors as possible to make our event fun and inviting ... thus turning into a successful event!  

 

I also am excited for my school year.  Hopefully, I will be done with my AA by the end of the summer ... of course, this may push from being a full summer quarter, into a full fall quarter.  I am meeting with my counselor at the end of this quarter to look into what needs to be finalized for my application to Washington State, but it is my passion to continue my education that is helping me move forward.

 

I have actually begun looking at new goals for what I can do to combine both of my passions - raising money for a great cause, and providing for my family.  I hope to look into non-profits after receiving my 4 year degree to see how I can combine my passions.  Don't get me wrong - I enjoy the company I work for.  I am just not passionate about my current job.  It's nice, pays the bills.  I strive for more, though.

 

I also want to provide the best life I can for my husband and children.  Providing the best life isn't necessarily marked by how much I bring home financially.  Instead, I want my children to laugh a lot.  I want them to be able to express their feelings without feeling scared or ashamed.  I want them to treat others as they want to be treated.  I want to provide them the life that I was given - a life that isn't always easy, but it's worth it.  I also want them to explore their own passions (which will change multiple times as they grow older and learn new things, which is okay).  I also want them to know that as their mother, I am always here for them.  And as their father, Josh will also be there for them.  As individuals, and as a unit - we strive to be the best parents we can be.

 

To be the best parents we can be, that also means being passionate in our marriage.  Before having kids, we made a promise to ourselves not to put our relationship on the back burner.  To ensure our marriage is also healthy, we go on date nights.  We hug often.  We kiss often.  We talk through our feelings, though some days its easier said than done.  Josh and I also laugh together, a lot.  Laughter is sometimes the only way we can get through some things. Thank goodness for laughter.  I am grateful that I have a partner in life that is passionate and supportive.  Josh and I believe in each other, and I think that is why our marriage has been successful (considering how long we have been married, and how young we were when we got together).

Now it's your turn!
What is your passion?  Is it for a cause, or your own goals?  Or maybe just as something a little as "passionate about getting a walk in every day".

Whatever your passion may be, please share!

Thanks for reading!

Nichole
Be The Thermostat - Not The Thermometer

P.S. - if you would like to check out my relay page, please click here!

Vacation Hangover!

Do you ever feel like you need a vacation after your vacation has already ended?

Yup.
You are suffering from a vacation hangover.

Sure, part of the want for another vacation so quickly is going back to work ... responsibilities ... life in general ...

But lets face it.  Your vacation flew by, and here you are.  Back on the plane, to return to your regular life.

This is where I'm at today.

My vacation was fantastic.  Filled with shows ... pool side lounging ... and of course, drinking.  We were in Vegas, after all.

Can I go back, please?

Yet, here I am.  Drained.

 

I relaxed.

I didn't rush things.

Why am I so drained??

I'm hungover.  From my vacation.

 

That's all it really boils down to.  It's not a terrible thing.  Smells and certain songs immediately transport me back to the gambling floor of the MGM, or into the Flamingo Restaurant where we frequented for Breakfast.

 

I'm glad to be home.  I'm glad to have my kids ... my friends ... my family ... my life.  Even work - kind of.

 

Okay, maybe not true about work.  My co-workers, though, is what I'm glad to be back to.

   

Vegas is my escape.  An escape that I crave and look forward to every couple of years.  In a city nicknamed "Sin City", I find peace and a calm there that I forget about here at home.

 

I think this "vacation hangover" is a reminder that I need to balance my life a little better, so I don't overdo it when the big vacations do come around.  Maybe cook a little more elaborate meals ... or have a glass of wine with dinner more often ... something to break the "norm".

I'd say take more baths.  But I have kids.  Toddlers.  Me taking a bath won't happen for another 18 years.

 

I promise myself that I will indulge a little more in my daily life.  Even the smallest of things will make a great impact.  I may not be returning to Vegas anytime soon, but it doesn't mean my vacation high has to fully go away.

I may need to remind myself of this many times, especially as life is about to get a little crazier ...

Thanks for reading.

Nikki
Be The Thermostat - Not The Thermometer