There are plenty of reasons why my poor blog and its followers have not been updated.
I'm sorry for that.
However though, I am now ready to give you and this blog the attention it deserves!
In the last 9 months, I have come to realize just how much of an impact my journey has had on myself and others. I'm not trying to sound conceded or prideful - far from it! If anything, being so open about my weight loss surgery has made me more scared of failing. However, it also has also shown me how many people out there are curious of the surgery. It has also shown me just how many of us are hurting on the inside as well.
There has been so much love and support. There has also been some disappointment and heart break, resulting in people pushing me away or leaving my life all together. All of these emotions and situations, I anticipated. The decision to have the surgery was not only to lose weight - but to reclaim my identity.
In a way, it was a selfish choice I made to get the Gastric Bypass Surgery. The time leading up, and after, would require focus on my physical and mental health. Restrictions ... Sacrifices ... Limitations ... ALL necessary for the greatest reward: My Life.
A freedom from my addiction to food.
Breaking out of my prison of negative self-worth views.
I was taking control of this runaway train.
I had been killing myself. Here I was, in my early 30's ... in my prime, and I was throwing away everything because I was so disgusted with myself. I envied those who were my size or bigger who had so much love and confidence for themselves - I wished I could have had that for myself then. I didn't though, and every time I tried I found myself falling harder than before.
When I made the decision to get the RNY - it wasn't so I could be a size 2, or to lose a bunch of weight. It was so I could finally not be winded after a flight of stairs. I would have been happy at a size 20 could I run a 5K without feeling like dying.
Once I went fully public about my journey, there were those who insisted I try to do it on my own. Again. I said it then, and I say it now: RNY is not a solution. It is a Tool.
I had tried all those ways on my own ... even down to the very basic in/out approach (calories in - calories out).
I had been killing myself. Here I was, in my early 30's ... in my prime, and I was throwing away everything because I was so disgusted with myself. I envied those who were my size or bigger who had so much love and confidence for themselves - I wished I could have had that for myself then. I didn't though, and every time I tried I found myself falling harder than before.
When I made the decision to get the RNY - it wasn't so I could be a size 2, or to lose a bunch of weight. It was so I could finally not be winded after a flight of stairs. I would have been happy at a size 20 could I run a 5K without feeling like dying.
Once I went fully public about my journey, there were those who insisted I try to do it on my own. Again. I said it then, and I say it now: RNY is not a solution. It is a Tool.
I had tried all those ways on my own ... even down to the very basic in/out approach (calories in - calories out).
Yet my weight loss and physical health saw no significant changes. I then would sabotage myself - my mental demons holding me down once more.
Through many appointments with many kinds of doctors ... I was approved to take this tool and get my life back. Now, whatever I choose to do - it would WORK. And ... IT HAS.
But it's still work! When I make poor food choices - my weight loss stalls, and I even gain.
Through many appointments with many kinds of doctors ... I was approved to take this tool and get my life back. Now, whatever I choose to do - it would WORK. And ... IT HAS.
But it's still work! When I make poor food choices - my weight loss stalls, and I even gain.
That's right - I have gained wait even after having the surgery.
It's nothing to stop the presses for ... but it's humbling and a reminder of what I need to do.
When I miss a work out, my energy lags.
When I don't get enough sleep, my mind and body don't fully function.
Everyone's weight loss journey is different.
Everyone's life journey, is different.
I want to invite my readers into a place where judgement is checked at the door. Where you can bare your emotions and gain knowledge for your own journey.
Welcome back, to Nikki 2.0 ... Upgraded ;-)
When I miss a work out, my energy lags.
When I don't get enough sleep, my mind and body don't fully function.
Everyone's weight loss journey is different.
Everyone's life journey, is different.
I want to invite my readers into a place where judgement is checked at the door. Where you can bare your emotions and gain knowledge for your own journey.
Welcome back, to Nikki 2.0 ... Upgraded ;-)
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