Support, love and understanding.

In the last few days I have seen and heard a huge amount of support for my decision.  Thank you all from the bottom of my heart, it is a decision that I mulled over for a long time and didn't come to easily.

Yet for every 9 positive remarks there is 1 negative. I knew this was a risk by sharing my journey with others. I still feel that sharing is the right choice though, as it is a way to keep me honest and on track. It also can prove to be educational and possibly motivating to someone else.

It is easy to let people and their comments get under your skin. I am guilty of this, and I am sure I will have more negative feedback (even from people I didn't expect to).

This is my journey. And at the end of the day it's not about the approval of others, but the acceptance of myself.

For years I have battled depression, insecurities and my body. I've put my mind, body and soul through enough. In the early part of 2014 I made the choice to begin repairing the damage 31 years had done to me. 

I went back on medications. I saw a counselor. I made peace with grudges and demons that held me back. My mind and soul aren't perfect but major strides have been made putting me in a better place.

Now it is time to work on my body. I am ready to face the challenges that lie ahead and take back my physical health. Surgery or no surgery,  it was not going to be easy. I just wanted to help aide in my success and saw how fantastic my parents felt after their surgeries. It was in April of 2014 I knew it would be the best choice for me. 

Now here we are in late September ... and just a month away I am ready to begin this new chapter. I am ready.

It would have not been so easy if it wasn't for the amazing outpour of support I have received. So thank you ... from the bottom of my heart. And to those who are still cautious about this or feel I'm taking the easy way out ... I understand where you're coming from. More than you know. I can only hope that through conversation and this blog I can help you better understand my reasons and situations.

I love me again,  and it is time to show my body I love her again too.

Time to take my health back!

Okay. While this hasn't been a secret I joked with people that I have told I wasn't going to make it Facebook official until I got a date. It is nothing I am ashamed of but I know there will be many with questions and concerns. Some even said that I shouldn't post it to FB for just that reason.

But you know what?  I want to better inform this who may have concerns I also want to show that this isn't a "quick and easy fix". It is a tool I am being given and I will still need to work at it for it to work.

Back in late April I made the decision to finally take more control over my health. After feeling defeated by diets and life style changes that just didn't quite work I went to my mom to discuss her Bypass Surgery.

She was very helpful in informing me all she had gone through. In 2011 she was given the tool to take back her health. She is now a size 4 and in amazing health. She is also now dealing with arthritis in her back.  Had she been heavier this may had been a terrible situation. Thankfully she is healthy and can work on managing her back. It isn't going to be easy but gosh I can't imagine her doing it at her weight 4 years ago.

I went through the steps and today I am excited to share I am going to have Gastric Bypass Surgery. I am being given a tool so when I do what I know what needs to be done ... it actually works.

I am excited to begin this new chapter that will make me healthier and happier.