The Last Night

Just over a year ago, I wrote a blog called "Today Is The Last Day"

And the message I was trying to send still rings true.  But today, as I re-read that blog ... it's hitting a little deeper tonight on the emotion scale.

Today truly is the last day for my way of living.

So long I have been a prisoner to myself.  My bad habits... my negative thoughts... my sedentary routine I have created for myself ...

I have made leaps and bounds when it comes to my way of thinking.  Now it is time to take those steps in my physical health.

I am not happy with how I've treated my body physically.  And while I know I have tried to take it back, it just never fully stuck.  Now a tool is being given to me (and for those who think Gastric Bypass is the easy way out, do yourself a favor and research a little bit.  It's far from the easy way out).  With this tool I am going to apply all I know I should (and want) to be doing!

I miss Paige and her Zumba classes!
I miss my evening walks!
I miss Sweatin' To The Oldies with Richard!

I want to play with my kids, and not be winded 5 minutes in.
I want to eat balanced, healthy meals ... and not feel hungry an hour later.
I want to care about my appearance again, and take care of myself.

Today really *IS* the last day I will be like this.
Tomorrow I begin my two week diet before surgery.  This means in 15 days, I'll be sitting here packing my hospital bag (and probably writing a sappy blog entry, ha ha).

I look forward to sharing this journey with you all ... and I hope to help give hope to someone who thinks they've tried everything and to give up.  Or if they feel WLS is them giving up.  It is not!  It is YOU saying "I give a damn about my health and future - and I want to be here for a LONG TIME!"

Tonight is the last night ... this chapter is finally coming to an end.
I am ready to begin writing my next great adventure.

source

Thanks for reading!

Nichole

~Be The Thermostat - Not The Thermometer~

Today is the last day

Yesterday, a group of friends (and some of their spouses) accepted an 8 week biggest loser challenge with me.

Many of us, if not all of us, have struggled with our weight in some way.  Some of us were skinny for the longest time, and just got a little padding around the 6-pack.  There are others who were always bigger, lost weight and are continuing their journey.

Each of our stories is unique.  No matter our paths behind us, for the next 8 weeks we share a path together moving forward.  We all share the same goal: get healthy.  Our reasons vary: weddings, kids, general health.

As each weight came into my inbox, I heard the same sentiment over and over again:
"UGH" "GROSS" "BLECK"
(Mine was a heavy sigh, as I had noted my neglect for the last few weeks had found their way back to the scale).

And to each of them, I said the same thing:
"This is the last day you will see that number."
I told myself, and my weight watchers leader, the same thing: "This is the last time I will be this heavy.  Ever."

This morning, after brushing my teeth quietly and throwing on my obnoxiously loud-orange sweatshirt, I repeated it again:
"Nichole.  This is the last time you'll be this heavy.  This is the last time you'll look in the mirror and think, what in the world happened.

This is the last time you'll be this young.  You need to take advantage of every minute of this day - there are some not as lucky as you to have this time.  It is precious and needs to be treated with care.

This is the last time you'll beat yourself up.  Your double chin will fade, but the wrinkles are still coming.  Be thankful those gray hairs have not made their appreance.

This is the last time you'll have a beautiful baby girl who is 955 days old and a handsome baby boy who is 372 days.  Tomorrow they will be 956 days and 373 days old.  They are only going to get older.  Enjoy these days.

This is the last time."


I would be lying if I said "this is the last time I would be negative" or "this is the last time I'll feel this tired" ... I am an emotional woman with two very young children (ha, ha, ha).

What I want to take from this, and what I hope you take from this, is that whatever worry you may have today.  Whatever frustration that made you want to pull your hair out (a few things definitely pushed me over the edge today).  Whatever mess up you may have endured (eating that extra slice of pizza versus more veggies).  Whoever stole you thunder and put you in a sour mood (shame on them).

Today is the last day you'll do that.  Today is the last day that person will poison your thoughts (okay, this may take a few days - but you should try your best to rid yourself of that negative influence).

I'm not trying to preach YOLO (more like YO-BARF).  But seriously guys - Carpe Diem.  Seize This Day.  Embrace your flaws and celebrate your strengths.  If you want to change something, do it now.  Tomorrow is never going to come ... as tomorrow always becomes today.

Today is the last day.

Thanks for reading.

Nichole
~Be The Thermostat, Not The Thermometer~